A Glimpse of Heaven?

 If what we call love
doesn’t take us beyond
ourselves, it is not
really love.
If we have the idea
… that love is characterized
as:
cautious,
wise,
sensible,
shrewd,
and never taken to
extremes…….
we have missed
the true meaning!

Oswald Chambers

Love ~ I heard last week that it’s not hearts and roses and sunshine, but it’s messy and hard and controversial.

I think Hallmark and Hollywood have done us a grave disservice as to what love is. And maybe it’s wrong to blame a company? After all, human beings are behind the company. And we don’t like hard things. Or messy things. We prefer neat, tidy and perfect! You know, the impossible to attain way!

My perception of my Heavenly Father is that of a God who had a crazy plan for His creation. His lost and weary and sinful and stubborn and far away creation. That plan was hard, messy and continues to be highly controversial.

Why did He do it?

Love ~

He didn’t hold back. He didn’t protect Himself in sending His Son to us. He went all out. He gave all. He went to the ends of the earth to bring us back to Him. Knowing ahead of time that many would reject Him, He gave anyway. He gives anyway. The sun shining and the rain falling on the just and the unjust.

So what does that mean for us, as men and women living here on the earth, claiming the name of Jesus Christ, in the variety of relationships we are in every day?

Someone wrongs us and we shut them out?

Someone hurts us and we turn them away?

Someone fails and we close the door?

One more strike and your out?

No more soup for you! You been here for hour! (sorry, an old Seinfeld joke)

Are we not called to live differently? Are we to sound like the rest of the world?

Or are we called to be salt and light? Were we told this would be easy? Or was it compared to a narrow road?

If I reach out to another human being in love, by the love I first received from God, and that person hurts me, what do I do? Let them have it? Close my heart off to them? Carry grudges, resentment, bitterness and hatred?

What if God did that?

Where would I be?

Where would you be?

What if I reach out to another human being in love, by the love I first received from God, and that person hurts me, and I forgive them? Because their words and actions are unable to take from me what God has so freely given to me in Christ. And I am so connected to my Heavenly Father that I do what He wants me to do. And in doing so another human being catches a glimpse of heaven?

(This post is about a scandalous love, I’m not talking here about boundaries that are needed for the safety of another in violent situations, I hope this was taken in the context of which it was written.)

God’s Curve

“I don’t think the way you think.

The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s Decree. Isaiah 55:8 MSG 

One day last week I was driving a particular section of road that brought back a vivid memory and in an instant ~ a revelation. Dontchya just love it when that happens!

Back in November of 1997 my family and I moved from a small college town in Northern Colorado to the big metropolis of Denver. I was scared outta my ever lovin’ mind! I’d never driven on the interstate and now here we all were, the caravan of cars and trucks packed to the gill with every thing we owned.

In the town I grew up in there was a limit to the city. There would come a time if you were driving long enough (which back in the day wasn’t all that long) the buildings, shopping centers, and fast food joints started to get few and far between. That’s when you knew the country was on the horizon. There would be no more convenience stores to fill ‘er up.

I don’t recall how long we had lived in Denver, but not long, and I was out looking for a McDonald’s, when I came upon this particular section of road that was massive. The street was so wide across, the car dealership was so far off the street compared to the compact and cozy feel to my former town. I was driving a curve and could see nothing ahead, I distinctly remember thinking I must have hit the “city limits” and would need to turn around because I would find nothing else.

Turns out that curve opened up to a whole new stretch of city. And yes, I did find a McDonald’s that day! If you ever have the priviledge of visiting Denver, Colorado and can make it up to Green Mountain at night time to check out the city lights of this beautiful city……you won’t be disappointed!

So last week as I’m flooded with the memory I see how much our life of faith is like this. Of course, it could just be my life of faith, but as unique as I like to think I am……I know I’m not. 

We come to God, in all the numerous and diverse ways we do, but our minds have limits and we naturally, but ignorantly, stick those on Him. Like my small town mind in a big city. Maybe we wake up on day to find our life circumstances on a curve, we can see nothing ahead, maybe we’ve hit His limit and we will need to turn back. Because there is no way we will find anything.

Whoa Nelly, not so fast! We are in the metropolis of God now, that curve in your life is about to open up to a whole new stretch of Him and His goodness, faithfulness and love.

I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth.

Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God. Psalm 27:13, 14 MSG

From My Wounded Story To His Bigger One

“….she progressively came to grasp that her painful inner experience was an essential part of living out her mission.” 1

In recent weeks I have become emotional at the overwhelming evidence that the whole of my past experiences are beginning to make sense in how God has prepared me for this very time. Between amazing conversations, the timely reading of a book I’ve known about for a year, and people crossing my life path in ways only God could bring them, a veil is being lifted from the eyes of my heart.

“He (Jesus) tells you that this moment couldn’t have been forced or rushed or manipulated to come one second sooner.” 2

I can’t go back and describe in detail the when’s, why’s and where’s, but I can tell you that most of my life I have felt like (and been) the rebel, as well as received the label from others. Always the one fighting the establishment, whichever “establishment” it happened to be at the time; be it church, school, or corporate america.  I haven’t “fit in”, even when I tried (which wasn’t often). Honestly, there have been times I’ve relished the label, but mostly because I didn’t fit in, so I felt there was no other way. Fitting in was and continues to go against my grain.

But you see all these years, in the deepest crevices of my soul, I presumed that those “establishments” with their standards, rules, policies and whatever else I was rebelling against, was to ultimately be my end result as well.  When I came back to Christ, I carried these presumptions with me, along with lots of other unsightly baggage. I won’t go into all the stories, but every time I tried to “fit in” a door was SLAMMED shut in my face. I’ve had many an angst filled talks with God about why it wasn’t working for me; me and and all my preconceived notions as to what it looks like walking this Christian life out.

“You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing”, and you’re terrified someone’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage! You built it yourself….Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.” Breakfast at Tiffany’s 

My preconceived notions of what God, myself and others expected of me kept me caged. I would force myself onto the paths of my preconception, only to have doors slammed in my face. Thoughts of, “I wasn’t made for this life” filled my heart.  And at the slamming of each door I would overflow with guilt. Lots and lots of guilt. Amidst the guilt though, there were prayers. Lots and lots of prayers. From what I thought were desires stemming from my own wounded story, I prayed, “Lord here am I, send me”, to the hurting, hopeless, running and scared. I would pray one way (my desire) and then force another way (the preconception). It’s no wonder I spent many a day in fear, confusion and weariness.

In these recent days God is bringing me people……hurting, hopeless, running and scared people. People who would not seek solace in the stained glass buildings, for fear of their looks and tones of judgement. The sign out front says, “come as you are”, but they know, based on past experience, it’s a lie. It won’t be long before the “come as you are” crowd turns on them and becomes the “you ought to” crowd. When I’m faced with the opportunity to pour grace on these people exactly where they are in their life and let the love of God come through this cracked vessel I am, not only aware of my utter need for Him, but charged with an energy that can only come when a dream that has been formed for decades is now getting to be lived out.

“God dearly longs for the day when he gets to hand you the ticket, smile and whisper into your ear, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hand this to you. Have a blast! I’ve already seen what you get to do. It’s better than you could have dreamed. Now hurry up and get on that train. A whole lot of folk are waiting for you to walk into your destiny and into their lives.” 2

1 -  Written about Mother Teresa in the book, Come Be My Light

2 – From the book TrueFaced written by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and John Lynch

The “God-Bless-You” Man & Steve

“The one thing, on which we can all agree,
is that God is with the vulnerable and poor.
God is in the slums and in the cardboard boxes
where the poor play house.
God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives,
and God is with us if we are with them” – Bono

As my husband, Bryan, and I were handing out lunches last weekend, there was one particular man standing on the corner, I rolled down my window as we pulled up and handed him the bag and water. He had dried snot on his upper lip and dried tears around his eyes. He was not wrapped up in appearances, his life was about survival and when you’re life is about survival, the snot can stay. He looked at me, I could see sadness and shame in his face, and he said to me, “God bless you.” My overwhelming emotions were lodged in my throat as we pulled away. I tear up now thinking back on the memory of this man, this, “God-bless-you” man.

And then there was the group of folks sitting up against the building on East Colfax, opposite the lane we were driving, so we drove a little further and seeing no one, turned around to go back. Bryan pulled into the alley next to them, rolled his window down and hollered out, “You guys hungry?” “YEAH!” “Well I’ve got some lunches here to pass out!” The lady in the bunch, with drunken glazed eyes stumbles towards us with an, “Are you serious with this?” Maybe she hadn’t eaten in a couple days and we were the timely angels to her alcoholic binge that kept her from remembering how hungry she was, on every level. The rest of them got up, smiles on their faces, walked towards us. Hungry, on every level.

The leader of the pack spoke up, “Hi, my name is Steve!” and stuck his hand into the opening of the driver side window for Bryan to shake it. I wanted in on some of that, so I reached across Bryan’s chest, hand extended, to shake Steve’s hand too. He starts in with his story, happy to have someone new to talk to:

“I have a bucket over there – he points - lots of people ask me why I keep my bucket, you wanna know what I got in my bucket?”

“What’s that?”

“My Bible. I love my Bible, I read it every day. I’m reading Matthew now.”

“I’m reading Matthew too!” I say with a big grin.

“Every night I go to sleep, I’m homeless you know, I ask Jesus to wake me up in the morning. And when I do, I wake up with p.m.a., do you know what p.m.a. is?”

I try to guess with, “Prayer mightily answered?” Thinking, if he woke up, his prayer was answered, right?  Hey, it was kind of a crappy guess, but this is what I come up with on the spot.

“Nope. Positive mental attitude. When your life goes into the negative, you gotta take it to a positive. I’m a math major.”

I’ve thought alot about Steve since. I don’t know his story, but something has taken him to the streets and I come away with 2 things:

1.) He had a more positive attitude ( even if he did have a little help from the bottle) than some Christians I know who get to sleep indoors and eat 3 squares a day. Myself included.

2.) I can’t wait to see this guy in Heaven one day! We can chat about our first meeting and he can tell me about all the times Jesus woke him up the next day and the next and the next.

As a final note, I’ll say that I think I fell in love with Jesus a little bit more that day. Any time Jesus proves Himself  to be bigger than the box so many place Him in, I get all giddy and excited! As I envision Steve, dirty and cold, laying his head down to sleep somewhere outside, possibly in a drunken stupor, talking to Jesus, asking Him to wake him in the morning. He’s not in a church pew, not signing up for a Bible study, or going on a mission to a third world country (this situation is his third world country). But I know, without a single, solitary doubt in my mind that Jesus is with that man.

And that, my blog readers, is outstanding!

OUTSTANDING!

Brown Bags Of Grace ~ Part II

You might want to catch up here if you haven’t read Part I yet.

The great thing about God is that He knows. He knows you. He knows me. He knows our lives, our wounds, our stories, and He knows how He made us. I’ve been getting the hint lately that maybe He’s had me in all the places I’ve been thus far to push me outside the comfort zone. I’ve always wanted to live out my faith differently than that which I’ve seen. Something I wasn’t always aware of, I was too busy running.

If you lined up a group of 20 people, in front of me, I would pick out the dirtiest, most tattooed, pierced and foul mouthed one in the bunch. And I’d be stuck for life. It’s kind of been a theme, if you look back on my life. I used to think it was me being rebellious and it could have been partly that. But, I’m beginning to wonder if it was God’s idea for me all along. When I tried to fit in with the popular, pretty and pompus people, I was miserable. Mind you this is wisdom I have only in looking back.  

“I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit,

I was in prison and you came to me.

I’m telling you the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me – you did it to me.” Jesus speaking in Matthew 25: 35, 36 and 40 in the Message.

As I wrote in Part I, I’m not so sure any of this was my idea. I don’t have that great of a memory. I don’t like to say, “God told me to do it.” That just sounds strange. But, I will say I’m simply doing what I believe God wants me to do right now in my life. And so, here we are.

In December it was shredded BBQ sandwiches wrapped in foil, a banana, a candy cane, a packet of hot hands that you can stick in your gloves to keep your hands warm for up to 12 hours, and a bottle of water.

This time around:

 

 

Ham, turkey and cheese sandwiches, mayo and mustard packets (free from 7-11), a pickle, bag of chips, packet of valentine candy hearts, 2 coupons for a free meal through Step 13 (a program here in Denver to help get homeless addicts back on their feet), chapstick and a bottle of water.

To say it was pure joy putting it all together would be an understatement. My mother told me that it was a good thing I did, that I could have used that money on something else. To which I replied, “I’ve spent years spending money on “something else” and it got me nowhere.” Time to do somethin’ different with what I’ve been given. After all, isn’t that the point?

Both in December and this weekend, my husband was the driver. It’s not safe for a woman to go handing out bags of food in the inner city alone. I don’t want to be afraid, but I also don’t wish to be stupid either. The need is great, the men and women are everywhere, I’m only one person (well 2 if you count my husband) and I (we) only had 12 bags. I love looking these people in the eyes, seeing their absolute gratitude. Gratitude unknown to most of us, we’re such complainers! The interactions are mere seconds, but there were two men that stood out to me. One was Steve, the other I’ve named “God-bless-you man”. I will write about them tomorrow.

I’ve already decided it will be breakfast burritos next time.

I really struggled with whether I should share all of this or not, I don’t wish to brag, simply bring some inspiration to you and those whose lives you touch.

 

Brown Bags Of Grace ~ Part I

Classic rock was playing low through the truck speakers.  The warmth below ground hitting the freezing temperature above brought billowing steam out of the storm grates. We drove by parking lots with piles of snow that must have reached 12 feet into the sky. The north side of buildings constructed icicles that were more like long swords of ice. The days temp didn’t get out of the teens.

We wound our way through the inner city surrounded by Mercedes Benz’s and Cadillac’s; trendy eating spots and run down holes in the wall; gated high rises with banners advertising their price tags from $400,000 to upwards of $2 million and some old brick houses that had more character than $2 million could ever buy. There were those walking with their fancy scarves covering their faces, trendy knee high boots, arm in arm with their signficant other. And those in clothes that haven’t been washed in weeks, months maybe. Dirty and unshaven. Many of the men having the appearance close to what we assume Jesus looked like. 

I am reminded of the interview I had last August with the Denver Rescue Mission. In need of a job and wanting to finally make a difference with the work I do, I was excited at the prospect of being employed there. My excitement bubble was burst quite violently when a pre-requisite to employment was church membership and/or regular attendance. I would cry big, fat tears on my drive home that day. I had not been prepared to be attacked or have to defend my faith in Jesus based soley on my lack of church attendance. It also left me feeling like I’d never be able to make a difference. Every thing, every place, and every one I’d met in these recent years wanted to define, not just the difference I could make for me, but also my faith. They wanted to restrict the ways I loved Jesus or could be involved in helping others. I’ve heard lots of you-have-to’s and you-must’s, a non-comformist’s least favorite phrases, by the way!

The idea actually came to me around Christmastime 2009. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s a great idea.” Fast forward to Christmastime 2010 and here comes the same idea. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that really is a great idea.” Now, we’re at Christmastime 2011, just a couple months ago. “Hmmmm. I wonder if this is even my idea, I don’t have a very good memory. Okay. Yes. Absolutely. I’ll do it.”

The weekend of December 14th and 15th was our first trek out. I’d been having tooth pain and reactions to the pain medications. When it was all said and done I said, “I’ll be doing THAT again and I won’t wait till Christmas 2012! Maybe every other month!”

And I started thinking on all the ways I could do this.

Which brings me to this weekend, almost 2 months later.

To be continued…….

 

Prove It!

The train of thought that began the idea of this post started a couple of weeks ago when someone spoke directly, albeit unknowingly, to my shame. I’ll get to that in a moment. I am reading an incredible book called “Into the Depths of God” by Calvin Miller and read the following doozy:

“We shall have Him in our hearts. We will then need no Christian jewelry to tell the world of our cravings. They will see beyond jewelry into our lives.”

Sometimes words can  jump off their page and slap me clean across the face. This was one of those times.

Why are we, in general, so obsessed with proving our faith, externally? Do we lack the trust in the One who is quite capable of making the change internally at first? Are we afraid that if we don’t prove our faith, externally, we aren’t really what we say we are? Or what we hope we are? Talk is cheap, as they say. The proof is in the pudding. I don’t really know what that means, it only makes me hungry and want dessert.

Anyone can purchase Christian jewelry. Anyone can wear a cross necklace. Doesn’t prove a thing, just shows they may or may not have good taste in jewelry. And by some of the cross necklaces I’ve seen, whether they have money or not.

As I’ve journeyed through these last four plus years, I’ve been guilty of trying to prove that this former rebel is now a Jesus lover. Gotta make sure everyone knows, wouldn’t want anyone thinking I’m still the old me. God forbid, right?

Which brings me to the words spoken to my shame; in front of me, about me, but to someone else, “She had a mouth on her.”

Yup. That’s me. Remind me again. Please. I haven’t heard it often enough these last 42 years. Ugh.

Afterwards the cries of my heart were full of questions like, “Can You redeem me?”, “Why do I have to be like this?”, “Will I always be this way?”, and “Will You ever use my mouth for Your glory?”

In the days that followed I felt the urgent need to prove myself, externally and by all means, with my mouth (or keyboard). Maybe by proving myself, my shame would disappear. But who am I living for? God? Or others? I am not responsible for others perception of me! And furthermore, God redeemed me. It’s done. My redemption is complete. I rest in that. Not in someone else’s words of me. Wow! There’s a life changer for this people pleaser/approval addict!

Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman I’ve never met face to face, a 2 1/2 hour conversation. She spoke a new and fresh perspective into my world. I still feel lighter, my soul was lifted. I am grateful. I am not a rebel. And I do not have to prove to you, or anyone else for that matter, that I am not. I immediately started changing my facebook profile info, my “about” page on this blog and another one I have.

As a former rebel and present Jesus lover, I don’t have to push my old rebel reputation or shove Jesus into your face (which is never appealing). I simply have to trust Him to live through me. God alive, dwelling inside of me. He is the proof.

Do you know that this feels like?

It feels like freedom.

Do you know how it tastes?

Scrumptious!

Motion Sickness, Claustrophobia & Faith

Two weeks ago I rode along with my husband into the foothills west of our home for a craigslist purchase. It was after he had returned home from work, so it was dark. We weren’t into the windy and unlit roads too long before I got dizzy.  He took a wrong turn and all I see is the pavement illuminated by his truck lights.

The dark sides of the mountain just outside my window and the darkness coming from his side started to feel like they were closing in on me. My brain was rattling inside my head, the truck kept weaving back to the left, forth to the right. Ugh. If I’d had dinner it probably would have considered returning.

I’ve never had a panic or anxiety attack, but I started freaking out inside of myself. Like I wanted to start screaming, flailing my hands around and break through the darkness. I could sense my eyes wanting desperately to see more than they were able. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so badly? Maybe then I would start to settle down? All the while I was wondering how long before my husband turns back around? If he thinks he took  a wrong turn, then correct it already! I’m freaking out here! And that’s when it hit me……..

This closely resembles my walk with God lately. And lately as in the last 4+ years, lately.

There was nothing I could do to control the truck, the darkness, or how long we’d be there. The battle ensued within me, I didn’t want this. I wanted more. More light. I want to see!!! Oh please, more light! And stop weaving and winding and turning and spinning. I beg you. “GET ME OUTTA HERE”!, my soul seemed to be crying out. Not being in control is icky. Not knowing is even ickier. Yes, ickier. It’s a word.

If you asked God, He’d tell you I’ve said very similar things to Him in these 4+ years. Then He would smile and tell you how often I’ve also asked Him to work out His will in me and my life.

As some of you may already know, my life took a turn when I handed over control in late 2007 and even now when I write in my journal almost daily, “My life is not my own, I am Yours.”

Doors, closed.

Roads, blocked.

Windows, well, some of those are opened. Whew!

He doesn’t light my path any further than that which I need to see. Just like my husband’s truck lights on that dark mountain road a couple weeks back.

I admit that one of my biggest weaknesses is others approval and affirmation of me, my choices, changes, journey, etc. If I’m not receiving those things, I feel I’m headed in the wrong direction. If I do receive those things, well, all is good in my faith. Did you notice anything missing in the previous sentences? Like, God, maybe? Imagine a follower of Christ seeking His wisdom, His affirmation and His encouragement! Weird, huh?

I have example after example after example of my not receiving approval and affirmation. Seems kinda perfect for Him to hold that out of my life so it doesn’t get fed, don’t ya think? Yeah. Me, too.

About a week ago I was lamenting to Him, “You’re trying to “kill” me, aren’t you?” Meaning, death to the flesh. No more Rebekah. No more idols of others approval. Just Him through me. Nothing else matters. Only Him. That makes sense, but it ain’t easy! I’ve lived most of my life wanting what I want when I want it. Releasing my white knuckled grip on that has been a battle, and at times a fierce one.

Just yesterday I read in Oswald Chamber’s, My Utmost for His Highest, “…..once someone begins to hear that call, a suffering worthy of Christ is produced. Suddenly, every ambition, every desire of life, and every outlook is completely blotted out and extinguished. Only one thing remains…..”

Reading that and looking at my life since late 2007, many things started to come into focus. I’m not saying that I’ve suffered in a manner worthy of Christ……but every ambition, every desire of life and every outlook has been completely blotted out and extinguished. Taking in these last 4 years as a whole I can see for certain that one thing remains.

I hope you have a rockin’ blessed weekend!

P.S. My husband and I have already come to the conclusion that I will no longer be riding along for anything unless it’s day time and in the city. And yes, that makes my rattling brain happy.

 

God In The Checkout Lane

I walked into the grocery store for a few specific items. A quick in and out. But I noticed on my phone that I had missed a call from my oldest daughter, so I returned her call and proceeded to chat away with her as I meandered through the aisles.

I could NOT for the life of me find the frozen strawberries. Why is it so danged hard to find certain things in the grocery store? So you get lost and find more food you can buy compulsively? Yeah, I thought so. Although I wanted to be bad and get me some pop-tarts but forgot them. I was not sad about that fact until this morning when they would have tasted scrumptious with my coffee. And yes, I am a grown adult, why do you ask? 

There was more talking and walking. My quick in and out turned out to be not so much. Finally we get off the phone and I head to the checkout. Normally when I have just a handful of items I do the self-checkout, but this time I was buying some dog bones from the meat department and wasn’t sure what kind of tag they use for it, as I’ve never purchased them before. So I went to the fast lane. I was next. I LOVE being next!!!

She rings up my items, I pay and as I’m still standing there putting the receipt in my wallet the lady in line behind me places her little hand held basket up onto the counter and says to the checker, “I just realized I left my wallet at home so I’ll need to go home and come back.” She and the checker continue with a question/answer period and I feel a strong sense to help this poor lady out.

I would be so frustrated if that were me. I live in a big city and driving anywhere is kind of a chore. She was going to leave after doing her shopping and now here, in the checkout lane, about done. Ugh. But, I don’t want to interrupt. And I don’t want to butt in. And I don’t want to embarrass her. And I don’t want to offend or belittle her. As much as my insecurities and fear tried to talk me out of it, I couldn’t shake the strong urge to just speak up, “Good grief Rebekah…..SAY SOMETHING!”

Obviously all of this is taking place in a matter of minutes and while I’m trying to talk myself out of it, I’m checking out her basket. Maybe 7-10 things in there? So, I speak up:

“How much you got in there? Maybe $25?”

“Oh not even that!”

“Well then let me just help you out here, there’s no need for you to go all the way home.”

Enter shock. Awkward pause.

“Umm, may I have your name and address so I can pay you back?”

“Oh my goodness no! It’s what we do, we help each other.”

Enter shock. Both the woman I am helping and the checker.

My heart is smiling. I’ve always loved to shock people.

The items are rung up. The balance is $14.53.

The woman says, “Thank you so much!”

The checker says, “That was really nice of you!” Twice.

I’m trying to dumb it down a bit. Gotta stay humble, this wasn’t my idea. And there’s no need to make a big deal out of it. I mean goodness sakes, has this country gotten so selfish and self centered, stressed out and busy that doing something like this is cause for two….TWO…..”that-was-really-nice-of-you’s”?

I told the woman, “You are very welcome! Just pay it forward when you get a minute.”

And I walked out.

On cloud nine.

Telling God how awesome He is.

And how fun it is to be in on His comings and goings.

As I’ve thought back on it these last 20 hours(ish), I see how timely it all was. When we speak of God being sovereign over all the earth, I think we may view it in much too big a way. Kind of nebulous and far off. But He was in this detail. He had it in the bag all day. Heck, He had this worked out before the foundation of the world. Mind boggling, eh?

God….in the checkout lane.

Awesome stuff folks!

Choosing & Going

Today I am choosing to:

be quiet.

find rest.

be filled.

let go.

Today I am going to:

seek Him.

get away with Him.

walk with Him.

learn from Him.

So many things came at me these last few weeks. I’m not passive (mostly, haha), I kind of attack things. I’m a give-it-all-my-ghusto kind of gal. Tenacious.

As I sat on my couch last night devouring a book written by Max Lucado, by the way, have you read any of his books? Worth your time and money. Any of them. I promise. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes, sitting and devouring…..that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks……exhaustion. Like someone pulled the plug and everything I had, the energy I’d been using for all these things, left me in one fell swoop.

*sigh*

I awakened at 5:30 this morning, having slept all through the night, no waking and thinking; waking and praying; waking and worrying…..and I still felt tired. The bones are tired kind of tired. Weary.

One of my favortist verses in the Bible is Matthew 11:28-30, I’ll give you the Message translation:

Are you tired? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me ~ watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

I believe that Jesus was not only inviting us into this irreligous rest on a forever kind of basis, but on an any time we need it basis as well.  He knew…..He knows, that life and all it entails can take it out of us. I’ve tried many a way; I’ve travelled many a road to find the free and light life. None of them worked. I’m grateful for that knowledge of myself and the way I live by default, the way I choose that comes naturally….because it is in that when I know it’s time to stop and seek Him out. For He has the Life I need today. He has the rest, the freedom and the light that my soul is aching for today.

So if you come looking for me today, I’ll be at Jesus’ feet, learning all about His unforced rhythms of grace so I’m better prepared for the next turn in the road that no one can see but Him.

Grace be to each of you today. And always.